“Mum and dad, I’m going to marry the most amazing man one day…”
This was the opening line of the sms I sent to my parents about 2 months ago. Daddy replied with – “We know, and we’re praying with you!”
After numerous failed relationships, I got to a point one night in front of Tings n Times, where I made a promise to myself – I will never just “date” again. I’m going to wait for “the right guy.” My heart couldn’t handle any more pain. I didn’t want to cause anymore pain to another person. I didn’t want to stand alone after another relationship and feel ashamed of what I did to and with that person.
My best friend, Bennedy, sat next to me in my little red car with her eyes wide, after I ordered her to “just get in the car!” She asked me if I was ok, and I said – “Listen to what I’m saying to you tonight, on the 18th of May 2010,” I handed her my little red and blue heart shaped ring. “Look at that ring every time you think about giving a piece of your heart to a guy. Look at it and think – do I want to give little pieces away to everyone, or my entire heart to the right guy.” I got so worked up, and excited. I nearly screamed at the top my my lungs – “I’m going to wait! Dating messed me up! My heart can’t take anymore of this nonsense!” Bennedy laughed, because I’m sure she never saw me this enthusiastic about anything, and I am a very loud person. She knew this had to be big.
That night, I sat on her sleeper couch. I started typing a message on my phone to my mum and dad. It basically said something like this – “I’m going to marry the most amazing guy, at the right time I know I’ll meet him, and then I’m not just going to date him, but we’ll do courtship (commit to each other) and then get married.” I decided, NO MORE of this worldy concept of dating. I sometimes wonder if dating is really what God intended. Did He intend for us to give little pieces of our being to anther person, who actually “belongs” to someone else. Same with a physical relationship. I regret the fact that I took little pieces of someone, who was suppose to give themselves to their wives as a gift. A gift that God wrapped not to be messed around with. No piece of tape should be lifted even slightly. The beautiful bow God put on you, as a gift, shouldn’t have to be taped back on you. So there, I made a decision. No more dating, Lord.
I went to Namibia for 10 days with my family. I read a book while I was there called – Gift wrapped by God. Through reading all the chapters on purity, physically and spiritually, I was so excited about the last few chapters. I read about Jesus. Amazing totally “BEVANGE” Jesus. And how I should be married to HIM, first and foremost. That sentence – “mum and dad I’m going to marry the most amazing man one day,” moved down on my priority list.
If you think about it, God intended a marriage to represent God’s relationship with us- his “Bride”. Those who live everyday with the mission to grow in their relationship with Him. I made a decision, that I would tell my future husband that he’ll always be second. Jesus is my husband first! He’s perfect. He loves me like no man on this planted can ever love me. He IS love, and his love for me goes beyond anything I could ever feel. Even physically, the connection I share with Jesus is more intense and electrifying than that! As I am typing this, I realise that its a long walk with Jesus. This feeling of closeness to Him still comes and goes… I’m patiently learning and waiting for it to be written so deeply within my heart, that not one day will pass where I wont wake up and say hello to my groom, Jesus, FIRST!
…. FIND YOUR HAPPINESS IN THE LORD AND HE’LL GIVE YOU YOUR HEARTS DESIRES!
NDI ANIFUNA VENDA JESUS. Thank You for being the perfect husband….